Dirty talk is a great way to keep things hot between you and your sex buddy, but there’s a right way and a wrong way to go about it. Whether the nasty talk is during sex, or via text and phone, I’m going to give you the low down on how to get it right. Pay attention, because the wrong type of dirty talk is a total turn off to women.

Remember That She’s a Woman

With a few notable exceptions, most women like a slightly different flavor of dirty talk than men. While you might be thrilled if she launches into a triple xxx tirade of jaw dropping filth while she’s screwing you, she might not react the same way. Approach dirty talk slowly. Start with totally vanilla sexy stuff. If she responds well to this, you can start to slowly kick it up a notch. By easing into dirty talk, you’ll be able to observe her reactions and notice where she crosses the line from totally turned on to slightly uncomfortable. If you notice that things get a little awkward, just bring it back down quickly, and offer an apology if it seems necessary. But chances are that you’ll be able to read her cues well enough to walk the line in a way that totally turns her on.

Encourage Her to Talk Dirty to You

If she starts talking dirty, egg her on. Show her just how much you like it and reward her nasty mouth by making sure the sex is great for her. Not only is it hot, it also gives you the perfect opportunity to figure out what kind of dirty talk she’s into. With most things sexually, we tend to give what we would like to get. So if she says things that make your jaw drop because they’re so raunchy, it’s safe to assume that she’s going to like it if you do the same. If she’s telling you to bury your huge cock in her tight little ass, she’s probably not going to be impressed if you softly whisper that you’re going to caress every inch of her body with your lips.
 

Build Up To It

If you’re talking dirty via text, the idea is to create a slow burn that will leave her hot and bothered until the next time you get together. The best way to do this is to start off with something benign, like, “I had a dream about you last night,” and then ramp it up a notch by describing the foreplay. Pay attention to her responses, and play off of them. This is the sort of thing that you can drag out over an hour or an entire day. If you’re able, intersperse some pictures, so she can see exactly the effect she is having on you. More often than not, she’ll reciprocate by sending pictures of her own. If you’ve got great dirty talk texting skills, you can build up an entire gallery of x-rated pictures taken just for you pretty quickly.

Use the 80/20 Rule

Communication specialists teach that the easiest way to be a great conversationalist is to focus 80% on the other person, and only talk about yourself 20% of the time. The same goes for dirty talk! Its fine to tell her what you want her to do to you, but keep it to about 20% of the sex talk. The other 80% should focus on her. It should be partially about how sexy and hot she is, and how much she turns you on, and the rest of it should be focused on the ways you want to pleasure her. Nothing will turn her on and make her want to please you more than knowing that you want to please her.

Ask Her What She Likes During Sex

During sex, ask her questions. If she’s moaning, ask her things like, “Do you like that?” or “Do you want more?” You want her to tell you what’s working and what’s not. When she gets comfortable telling you when she likes something, she’ll be ready to start giving you instructions, which will make sex better for both of you. Simple guidance, like being told to thrust harder, can help turn good sex into great sex. Dirty talk isn’t just a method of turning each other on. It can also be a great way to teach each other what you like and don’t like without feeling awkward or put on the spot. Let’s face it, most of us are happy to be told what to do to make sex better as long as we don’t feel like they think we’re lousy at it.

Remember to Have Fun with It

While it’s important not to make any major social faux pas, don’t get all stressed out about it. Dirty talk is supposed to be fun, and there’s not much point if it’s not. So take a deep breath and dive in. The more you practice, the easier it gets. Before you know it, you’ll be such a smooth talker, her panties will get wet the minute you open your

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