How to Prevent Your Sex Buddy from Asking for a Relationship
It’s every guy’s worst nightmare. You’ve got a good sex buddy thing going, and then, seemingly out of the blue, you’re being asked for a relationship. The thing is, it never really happens out of the blue, as much as you might like to believe that you had no role in it. Chances are high that you were setting yourself up for this moment without even realizing it. The good news is that there are ways to make sure you don’t find yourself in this situation, and they’re not difficult to follow. Here are some tips to help prevent your sex buddy from asking you for a relationship that every guy should know.
Be Clear That You Don’t Want a Relationship
It might seem obvious to you, but it needs to be said, clearly and often. Before you ever hook up, this topic should be discussed. It’s the only way to be sure that you really want what you’re about to get into. And then, on a fairly regular basis, make sure that she realizes your feelings haven’t changed. It’s not like you have to say, “Oh, FYI, still don’t want a relationship!” Just find more natural ways to work it into the conversation. For example, you could say something about your buddy’s messy relationship, and say something like, “I’m so glad we didn’t go down that road. I like things the way we’re doing it much better.”
Don’t Lead Her On Emotionally
Some guys toy with leading on their sex buddies emotionally, because they think that it will keep them coming back for sex regularly. It might, but it usually comes with some very undesirable side effects. It’s not like you can hint at the fact that you might be falling for her and then feel shocked when she tells you that she loves you and really wants to take things to the next level. If she’s been entertaining any secret thoughts of a relationship with you and you start saying or doing things that make her think you’re considering it, too, things are going to get messy quickly.
Don’t Take Her On Typical Dates
This is one of the most common mistakes guys make with their sex buddies. If the girl is really cool, you might enjoy her company and start extending your time together to outside of the bedroom. In your mind, she might just be a friend you happen to have sex with, so it makes perfect sense. But in her mind, she might think that you’ve moved away from being straight up sex buddies and are now dating. You know. Like a couple. And if you’re dating her, eventually she’s going to start to consider it a relationship. There are some women out there who can balance this, but not many, so if you have any inclination at all to try it out, you may want to reconsider.
Don’t Share Too Much About Your Life
I’m not suggesting you shouldn’t tell your sex buddy anything at all about you. That would be kind of weird. But keep it fairly surface and simple. If she knows your entire life story, what your relationship with your family is like, all about your friends, your job, and your favorite breakfast cereal, she knows too much. Not because you’ve got any super classified information that she’s going to use for nefarious purposes, but because this sort of familiarity breeds a sense of intimacy. The more she knows about you, the closer she’s going to feel to you, and it is that sort of closeness that encourages feeling of love and the desire for a committed relationship. So keep it light. Instead of telling her you’ve been really down because your favorite uncle is dying, tell her about the new dog park you discovered with your puppy last week.
It All Comes Down to Clear and Unmoving Boundaries
All of this is to say that the best way to prevent your sex buddy from asking for a relationship is to create clear and solid boundaries. These boundaries should be built from bricks, not rubber bands. If they stretch and bend to accommodate your moods and whims from day to day, it’s going to lead to confusion. When you keep the rules and expectations consistent, your sex buddy will be clear on where you stand, which will make the possibility of her asking for a relationship much less likely. Make it clear that you’re not the least bit interested in having a relationship. Mixed signals have led to the sinking of more than one formerly solid ship. Keep the focus of the relationship on sex. Be friendly, but keep emotions and intimacy out of it. Your sex buddy relationship will stay on track and thrive.
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