Why You Should Never Get Attached To Your Sex Buddy
The sex buddy relationship is often considered the main goal of men not looking to settle down anytime soon. It means having sex whenever you want without having to worry about the pull and tugs of a relationship, and it’s almost always on your own schedule. Now you can have all the fun without all the drama.
For most men, having a no-strings-attached sex buddy is the way to go, but what happens when you start getting a bit too attached to a sex buddy, maybe even feeling jealous when you see her out with other men? I mean, you already have great chemistry together, and you have to admit, she is a lot of fun. But it’s just sex, right?
You know you know it’s not a good idea to get attached. Here’s a little remind of why.
It can be emotionally draining
Theoretically, you and your sex buddy should be completely void of any feelings. This is the time to have fun, try new things and learn a new move or two, but when feelings get involved, a sex buddy relationship can go south very quickly.
Before you really get going with this type of relationship, it’s best to sit down with this person and have a brief conversation over what to expect. You don’t want her thinking you two are something when in fact, you’re not so although these types of conversations are never really fun, sit down and discuss it.
Don’t forget to take a minute and assess your own feelings as well. Having completely emotionless sex is possible, but you too have to be in the right emotional state in order for this to go well at all. If you’re still sore over an ex-girlfriend or have recently experienced another emotionally traumatic event, maybe you should stop and consider what you’re getting into. If you’ve ever had true romantic feelings for this woman, having emotionless sex might not be enough for you.
The signals are all over
How often are you calling your sex buddy? Once a week? Twice? Every other night? When you call, do you meet for dinner or do you go right to the bedroom?
Most sex buddy relationships start out as casual relationships. You and this woman probably went on a few dates and when things were going well, you decided to sleep together and found the sex was way better than the dates. This is normal.
What’s not normal is continuing to go on dates after you two have had sex. This is an actual relationship, not a sex buddy one. If you continue to date after you two decide just to be sex buddies, you run the giant risk of getting attached to your partner, and that can be disastrous.
Even if you have already established boundaries, the act of going out together begins to negate those boundaries. You start thinking of her as more than an actual sex buddy, and when and if she decides to end the relationship, you might feel more hurt than you originally thought you would.
Whatever you do, stick to the original boundaries or guidelines of your relationship. If you treat her as anything more than a sex buddy, she might freak out and end the relationship before you really get to enjoy it.
She could be moving on
In most cases, sex buddies assume they are free to pursue other relationships, whether it be dating another person or having a one night stand with someone else.
The problem is that some sex buddies don’t like to inform the other person that they are now off the market and in a real relationship.After all, it can be a messy conversation to have, and after all, you two were just sex buddies so what’s the difference.
Think of it this way: you liked her well enough to sleep with her on a regular basis. It’s only a matter of time before another guy realizes she’s just as great. If you abruptly find your sex buddy is now with someone else, it can really throw you for a loop.
Remember to keep your options open and try to date other people as well.
Having a sex buddy can be a lot of fun and a great way to enjoy sex whenever you want it. You do, however, need to keep your emotions in line with what you’re doing. Neither of you have any ties to each other. She might start dating someone tomorrow.
If you find you’re really interested in dating her, tell her so and discus where to go from there. Do not continue the relationship. You’ll get too attached and be very hurt when she finds someone else. Be honest and upfront about your needs, and she will too.
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Tags: Boundaries, Getting Attached, Keep It Casual, sex buddy, Sex buddy 101, Sex buddy advice, sex buddy dating