Sharing your kinky sex fantasies with your sex buddy can be intimidating, embarrassing, and wholly uncomfortable. No matter if its something new you want to try, or some life-long fetish you have always wanted to share with someone, it’s a hard thing to bring up. All sorts of questions and thoughts run through your head. What if she thinks I’m weird? How do I even bring it up? What if she hates it? Having doubts is normal. The important thing to remember is that everyone has fantasies they feel no one will get. As long as both parties are consenting, there are no worries. There is a rather simple formula to follow when first introducing kinky sex to your sex buddy. Don’t stray from the formula and you’ll find yourself happily ensconced in your favorite kink in no time.

Step One: Open Communication

If you want things to run smoothly, you must be able to speak openly and honestly to your sex buddy. You two must have a trusting and sincere relationship. Just because there is no romantic commitment between you two doesn’t mean there isn’t a real and deep connection. Talk to her about your fantasies. Know exactly what you want to happen and realize that fantasies don’t always play out perfectly in real life. Be realistic with your needs. Know what you want, so you know what to ask for. The first time you bring it up, make sure it isn’t immediately before or after sex. It can feel like your pressuring her. Do it in person. No texting or phone conversations. Talk about it sober. A cocktail to loosen you up before the big convo sounds like a good idea. It isn’t. Realize that she probably isn’t going to agree right off the bat. It may take some time. Your first conversation should just be to introduce some ideas.

Do Your Homework

Just because you’ve went over it in your head a million times does not mean you are an expert in kink. Before you slide between the sheets, take some time to do a little research. Check out some adult tube sites and watch people really doing it. If this particular kink requires bondage or knots, you’ll need to make sure you know how to do it and how to get out. You really want to impress your sex buddy with your knowledge, prowess, and skill. This isn’t the time to wing it. –> Learn The Kinky Sex Basics Here

Make it Happen

She will eventually decide to play along. Why not? We are all a little curious. Even those of us who claim to like it missionary style and plain old bread and butter excitement level will relent and accept a little fun in the bedroom. Your job is to make it happen and look effortless. The trouble will come in when you realize it is far from effortless. You will want to set up the scene, so everything goes without a hitch. Need rope? Candles? Hot wax? Feathers? Whatever you’ll need to live out this fantasy must be close by. The mood must also be set correctly with soft lighting, music and cocktails. The nights activities should flow like water. You don’t want to stop and look for the duct tape. —> Tips for establishing a safe word in the bedroom

Convalescence

People who engage in any type of unusual or strenuous activity will experience a down feeling when all the action is over. It is well known of in some kink communities such as BDSM. The submissive will sometimes feel a ‘sub drop’ when all is said and done. It can feel like nausea, lethargy, dizziness, headache and sleepiness. It’s a good idea to keep water on-hand as well as easy snacks like grapes, cheeses, crackers, and apple slices.

Introducing kinky sex to your sex buddy can be a great journey for both of you. Expand your horizons. Learn something and widen your sexual skill base all at the same time. It is a scary concept when you think about approaching anyone with secret fantasies, but it is a leap worth taking. You will learn a lot about yourself and have an experience that will stick with you for the rest of your life.

Follow