Getting Her To Go Open
Ah, the open relationship. Every man’s dream. Who hasn’t thought about a no-strings attached relationship every now and then? The open relationship has long fought social stigma but seems to be becoming more mainstream as decades progress. Careers and personal goals often do not mesh well with monogamy. In today’s age, people are more goal oriented than ever and achieving those goals is often a person’s first priority, superseding romantic relationships. It will serve you well to remember that not everyone is cut out for an open relationship. There are women who simply will not go for it and that is something you will have to accept. When that is the case you have to either accept it or move on to another woman.
Whether you’re interested in group sex, a threesome, an open relationship or some other hybrid of the romantic relationship, the first step is being able to talk about it. Many times, the subject of an open relationship will first come up when drinking is involved. While it serves as a good icebreaker, no real decisions should be made while drinking. If you feel confident enough in the other person to take them into your relationship then you should feel confident enough to discuss it in sobriety. Another thing to keep in mind is that if you approach your girl about this topic while you’re drinking and she seems receptive, there is no indication she will feel the same way sober. It can help to have a preplanned speech in your head of what you will say when you begin a dialogue. Think about the best time and circumstances to plant a seed in her mind and get her thinking then be prepared to have a frank conversation on the topic.
Check The Jealousy At The Door
Let’s discuss the jealousy factor. Know this now. Jealousy will rear its ugly head. I don’t care how enlightened you are or how mature you’ve become. It doesn’t matter what you’ve been through, learned or experienced. Mark my words. It will happen. The thing to remember is that OK. Jealousy occurs in every relationship and every aspect of life. Be aware of this when you attempt to get your girl to choose an open relationship because you will have to deal with it. Unless she has been secretly harboring a mad desire for you to bring this up all along (which isn’t unheard of), one of the first things her mind will go to when you mention an open relationship is “the other girl”. She will immediately assume there is someone in particular you are lusting over and even if this is true, you cannot lead with it. You must assuage her fears and let her know that she will always be the first and foremost woman on your mind. Experts have agreed that open and honest discussion between partners makes for the best sex. This is your chance to prove it and blow her mind. Be careful of your own jealousy as well. An open relationship might seem like a dream come true until the moment you see some other guy all over your woman. If you really want to pursue this lifestyle you will need to get your own emotions in check.
Delivery is everything
It’s true. It is a scientific fact that we feed off of and affect each other’s emotions. How someone tells you something has a direct impact on how you receive and process that information. Give a little forethought to how you will bring up the subject for the very first time. If alcohol is involved, it’s best to keep it to a minimum. You want her to be a little less inhibited but still remember what she said the next day. Take careful consideration into where and when you bring up the topic as well as how and in what context. Believe me, it matters. Your best bet is to introduce the topic during a conversation about sexual fantasies. If you are talking about a fantasy or make believe situation, it’s not so real and the edge softens. Refrain from mentioning it if you have been arguing or things between you are less than pleasant. A request like this should come from an open, loving heart.
It is possible to have open relationships. People do it every day. A lot depends on how you bring it up to your girl. Don’t just blurt it out between shots of vodka during the game. Take some time and think it out. It will work better in the long run.
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Tags: No strings attached, No strings attached dating, Open relationship, open relationship advice, Social Stigma