The Do’s & Don’ts Of An Open Relationship
One of the biggest pitfalls for committed relationships comes from the commitment itself. Though two people may love each other, they can’t deny that they still want to have sex with other people. If they choose to pursue other people outside their bed, this is what’s known as an open relationship, often thought of as the solution to “hum-drum” monogamy.
Then of course comes the obvious question: how open is the relationship if there is a long list of rules to observe and follow. While the list may seem invasive, it’s necessary to establish ground rules in order for the main relationship to work.
For the record, having an open relationship means you are involved in a serious, loving relationship with another person, but both of you agree that you would like to have sex with other people. This agreement comes formally; you and your partner sat down and talked this out. If you are dating someone, but are still sleeping with other people, you are not involved in an open relationship. You’re just cheating.
When you are your partner become serious about starting an open relationship, you will need to set your own rules. Not sure where to start? start here:
Do communicate
The easiest way to ruin an open relationship is to become closed-off or secretive about your activities. You both agreed that you were okay sleeping with other people. Now you need to learn to be open and approachable about it. This will be the first test to determine whether or not the relationship would work.
If either or you plan on hooking up with another person, tell the other one as soon as possible. You can send a quick text message or casually bring it up over dinner, whichever you prefer. Keeping each other in the know will strengthen your main relationship.
No matter what, go out of your way to be honest with the other person. An open relationship cannot thrive if neither of you are honest, open or respectful of one another. If you’re afraid to tell you partner anything, don’t bother with an open relationship. It will only hurt in the long run.
Don’t blow each other off
When you and your girlfriend make plans, stick to them no matter what. Not matter the arrangement, she is your girlfriend and she deserves your respect and time. If you made dinner plans, you better be there.
Men and women who stop spending time together quickly find that they’re not in an open relationship at all. They’re just single. Set aside a few special days each week where it’s just the two or you or make a rule that neither of you can spend the night at someone else’s place. This will ensure both of you return home to the same bed.
Do use protection (ALWAYS)
Hopefully this goes without saying, but you should always be concerned for your partner’s health. Both of you need to use a condom or other forms of protection at all times. Nothing will break a relationship faster than an STD.
This also goes back to being honest with your partner. Both of you will have to trust that the other one is being safe with his or her partners. IF you can’t have this trust, then you can’t have this relationship.
Don’t fall for another woman
This is usually the death blow for any open relationship. The minute you start feeling anything stronger than sexual attraction for someone other than your main partner, it’s time to throw a flag on the field and call a time out.
For a lot of couples, emotional cheating is actually more painful than physical cheating, which is why so many couples make this such an important rule. As emotions are the main thing that separates you and your partner from other people, it’s important to keep those emotions safe and sacred.
If you do ever feel that you’re falling in love with someone else, talk to your partner immediately. It’s probably time to end the relationship or establish new boundaries and rules.
Every open relationship you have is going to be different depending on what you and your partner prefer. Some couples insist on meeting the other men or women and letting them know the situation. For other couples, it’s “anything goes,” and that’s not a problem. Just remember that you must always remain open and honest with your main partner, and you two should be able to carry on this relationship without any problems
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Tags: Communication, Open relationship, open relationship advice, Open Relationship rules, STD, Wrap it up