Chapter 10 – Maintaining Multiple Open Relationships
As I mentioned previously, if you’re going to venture into the world of open relationships, you shouldn’t sell yourself short by limiting yourself to just one. One of the best strategies to ensure that you get the variety and frequency of sexual experiences you want is to maintain multiple open relationships or sex buddies at once. This can be tricky, but it’s totally doable. You should make this one of your highest priorities, otherwise sooner or later you will find yourself in a bind. If you only have one sex buddy, if she gets sick, goes on vacation, or she just isn’t in the mood when you are, you’ll be in no better shape than you were before you ventured into sex dating. Plus, sooner or later, you’re bound to get bored. These strategies are a surefire way to make sure that your sex life is as exciting and active as it can possibly be.
Start With the Ground Rules
At the beginning of every new open relationship, you should discuss expectations with your sex buddy, and set up mutually agreeable ground rules. If you can’t come to an agreement about what these rules should be, it’s a sign that you probably shouldn’t hook up, so pay attention to how she reacts as you talk. The biggest mistake guys make during this phase is being too nice. Of course you should be kind and polite, but don’t be wishy-washy. Be firm and honest about what you want. In this case, that means telling her that you enjoy having multiple sex partners, and that she won’t be the only woman you’re hooking up with. This means that your spare time will be divided, and she won’t be able to assume that you’ll come running any time she calls. You can soften this by letting her know that you’re totally cool with her having lots of sex partners, and don’t expect her to drop everything and run any time you want to hook up.
Keep Things Fresh by Rotating Who You’re With
Even without the trappings of a traditional relationship, if you’re always having sex with the same person, you’re going to get bored quickly. If you’ve got several open relationships, rotating through your sex partners will keep things fresh and exciting with all of them for a lot longer. This isn’t just good for you, it’s good for them. The more excited you are to see them when you hook up, the better the sex will be for both of you.
Keep In Touch In Between
While it’s true that you don’t owe your sex buddies the sort of regular phone calls and texts, you also need to remember that out of sight is out of mind. If you drop the ball and never contact your sex buddies to say hi or let them know you’re looking forward to your next hook up, they’ll probably forget you exist. If you’re done with them, this isn’t a problem, but if you liked the sex and still want more, you may find that after a month of no communication has passed, they’ve found other guys to fill their time and can’t fit you in. Don’t overdo it; you don’t want her to get the wrong idea and assume you’re looking for more than sex, but be in touch.
Don’t Encourage Jealousy or Emotional Dependency
Some guys seem to get off on making their sex buddies jealous or emotionally dependent on them, even if they’re not interested in them for anything beyond sex. I get it, it’s a power trip. It makes you feel desirable. But it can also lead to disaster. Don’t screw up a good thing by encouraging these behaviors. This means you shouldn’t ever bait her with excessive talk about your other sex buddies in order to get a rise out of her. It also means that you should avoid conversations and dates that are too emotionally intimate and lead to deep talks and personal sharing. And whatever you do, don’t snuggle up with her and spend the night after you’ve had sex. These are things boyfriends do to promote bonding. If this happens, she may very well start trying to move things in the direction of a romantic relationship. Some women might even fly into a jealous rage and attempt to contact the other women you’re seeing. It can get ugly quickly.
Make Sure You’re Making It Worthwhile
In order to successfully maintain multiple open relationships, you’ve got to make sure you’re making each hookup a worthwhile experience for your sex buddies. If the relationship is purely sex, and the sex isn’t satisfying for her, she’ll be gone in no time. So if you’re enjoying what she’s doing for you, make sure you give as well as you get. A guy who takes a woman’s pleasure as seriously as he takes his own is a rare thing, and if you’re that guy, you’re going to be very popular on the sex dating scene. If she’s having an awesome time in bed with you, she’s going to keep coming back for more. Plus, she’s probably going to reward you by putting in a lot more effort to ensure that you’re having a good time than she would for a guy who was doing a lousy job at getting her off.
Stay Active On Several Open Relationship Dating Sites
This is of the utmost importance. No matter how many open relationships you’re juggling, never slack off on the open relationship sites. There is no such thing as too many options. You want as long of a list of names and phone numbers of women looking for casual sex as you can possibly get. So keep your profile active. Check in daily. Make occasional changes to your profile pictures and description, just to keep it fresh. Any time a new woman pops up in your area, drop her a note immediately. This will make sure that you stay high in the site’s search rankings, and it will also give you a competitive edge over the other guys on the site.
Yes, all of this takes a little bit of work, but remember that it’s all for a good cause. Think about all the time you’ve wasted watching stupid TV shows or hanging out in bars over the years. Isn’t making sure that you’ve got the sex life you’ve always dreamed of a much more worthy use of your time?
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