When you start thinking about having a sex buddy relationship, you might think about who is most compatible to you for this kind of a relationship. You could try to find someone new and see how it goes, or you could head back into familiar territory, say an ex-girlfriend?

Ah, the loaded question that every man wants to know: can you start a sex buddy relationship with an ex-girlfriend? The answer to that question depends on many different factors, and it’s nearly impossible to answer. In short, everyone is different. What works for you may not work for your friend or for your co-worker. Some ex-girlfriends are cool with a sex buddy relationship. Some don’t want anything to do with you any more.

So to answer this elusive question, what should you consider? Here are our top questions to ask yourself when considering a sex buddy relationship with an ex.

How long did you date and how long ago was that?

You should first consider the amount of time you two dedicated to your real relationship.

There is no real cut-off date, but usually, if you two dated for more than six months, you might have too many emotions tied to each other in order to have a completely sexual relationship. So much has happened already, and it might be harder to distance yourselves from one another.

If you have both met each others parents and families, regardless of how long you dated, it might not be a good idea to start up a sex buddy relationship, especially if your mother liked her. Stay friends and see how it goes from there..

Should you two decide to give it a go anyway, you could try setting strict boundaries in regards to spending the night and the number of times you can call each other per week. Again, that’s up to you.

All of these questions about time might not be relevant if you and this person dated more than a year ago. Enough time might have passed that you two are comfortable just having sex, but beware! In some cases, you and this woman might grow attached to one another, and you might forget the legitimate reasons as to why you broke up reasons as to why you broke up in the first place. This could lead to you two dating again and possibly letting history repeat itself. Keep this in mind when considering an ex for a sex buddy.

Why did you break up?

This is one of the most important questions. You must consider why you broke up anyway if you want to have a successful sex buddy relationship.

If you broke up over any serious reason, do not try to be sex buddies. These reasons might be one of you cheated or maybe one of you wanted to get serious when the other one didn’t. These emotions are far too powerful and charged, and they might be harder to block out when you’re just having sex with someone.

You also might have broken up simply because one of you moved or had to travel too much for work. IF it was a time constraint, it’s probably not a good idea to try this again. Remember, the reason you broke up was not because you weren’t getting along; it was because you didn’t have the time. You could find that you still have feelings for this person, and sleeping with her is just not enough.

Do you still hang out or socialize with the same group of people?

Be honest with yourself on this one. If you see this girl often at parties and other social gatherings with friends, the stakes might be too high for a real sex buddy relationship.

Think about what might happen if something were to go wrong or you too find you just don’t mesh. You’re going to have to see this person fairly regularly, and you don’t want to make things tense with other friends. You might find yourself staying home more often or avoiding hanging out with certain friends because you know she’ll be around.

You must also consider your friends’ feelings. They like you both, and if your sex buddy relationship ends badly, they could end up taking sides or stop inviting you if they know she will be there. Try to find a sex buddy who is not in your regular social circle. No one will miss her if she leaves, and your friends won’t feel pressured to take any sides.

So can you have a sex buddy relationship with an ex? Yes, but there is definitely work involved. Talk to this person before truly starting a relationship and see how it goes. You won’t know unless you try, right?

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